God Came Near 12

"Jesus' love does not depend upon what we do for him. Not at all. In the eyes of the King, you have value simply because you are. You don't have to look nice or perform well. Your value is inborn. Period." Max Lucado--NO WONDER THEY CALL HIM THE SAVIOR, p 3.

"God said, 'Let us make man in our image, in our likeness." GENESIS 1.26.

God Came Near 11

"In the cellar of your heart lurk the ghosts of yesterday's sins. Sins you've confessed; errors of which you've repented; damage you've done your best to repair . . . . Do yourself a favor. Purge your cellar. Exorcise your basement. Take the Roman nails of Calvary and board up the door. And remember . . . he forgot." Max Lucado--GOD CAME NEAR, pp 50 51.

"God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." JOHN 3.17.

Reflecting on 2006--October

God Came Near 10

"Remember, Paul begged, remember Jesus. Before you remember anything, remember him. If you forget anything, don't forget him. Oh, but how quickly we forget. So much happens through the years . . . . And, somewhere, back there, we leave him. We don't turn away from him . . . we just don't take him with us. Assignments come. Promotions come. Budgets are made. Kids are born, and the Christ . . . the Christ is forgotten." Max Lucado--SIX HOURS ONE FRIDAY, p 76.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross. . . . Consider him." HEBREWS 12.2, 3.

Reflecting on 2006--September

Hawai'i:
September seemed to speed by in comparison to August (perhaps because it also has one less day?). Makana and I stayed in Hawai'i for a week, and during that time, she was able to meet many people who love her. We had a gathering at Leonard's house and were excited to see people I hadn't seen in a while! The bummer part was that since the party was at night, Makana slept through most of it. :( She had had a busy day at Chuck E Cheese for her cousin Taliah's party. :) She was also at the very beginnings of her first cold. :( However, we had a great time with our family and friends.

Dave and I missed being together again (the 2nd year in a row) for our anniversary on September 2nd. He actually performed a wedding on base for a couple of military members that day.

We went on some nice, long walks in Moanalua, where we were staying. We had a stroller! :) That was a blessing! Makana enjoyed being able to lie there without having body heat right next to hers. She ate more pup (pandanus) that we brought back from the RMI. She also tried poi (pounded taro) and liked that as well. We brought back about 10 pounds of it to Arizona.

I had wanted to visit more people, but I also forgot how terrible traffic can be on O'ahu. Perhaps on our next trip we will be able to meet up with more family and friends. In fact, on our last full day in Hawai'i, we spent a full 2 hours either in a standstill or creeping a mere 5 miles to pick up Kavin from his babysitter. Apparently, there was an army convoy that did not have a permit to transport equipment (like a crane, I think) on the freeway, and the equipment hit a pedestrian overpass. That incident completely shut down westbound traffic at the western edge of Honolulu. If anyone is familiar with Honolulu at all, he would understand that that was not a pretty sight. My ND friend Asako was going to come over that night, but because the freeway was a nightmare, she couldn't get to us in any sane manner. Thankfully, we were able to see each other at the airport, and she actually helped us get checked in.

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Moving to the Continental USA:

Yeah! We were heading to Makana's first permanent home! Dave got a ticket for my mom to come out for 6 weeks to stay with us, and that was truly a blessed time. Since I have 6 other siblings, I don't think I can think of a time when I have ever spent with my mom exclusively for that duration. It was wonderful! Makana enjoyed having Grandma in the room next to hers and thought it humorous at first when she saw Grandma with rollers in her hair. :)

The chapel community has completely embraced us! As Dave put it, we had a "posse" meet us at the airport; it brought me to tears. After such a long trip and having known these people for such a short time, it was great to know that God brings hearts together faster than anything else can. With signs, balloons, hugs, and smiles, they greeted us. Thank you! I felt as though--finally!--we were at home after our long journey! (Can you imagine the welcome into the heavenly kingdom and how right that will feel, worshiping God constantly? Wow! It is beyond my comprehension!)

Our flight got in quite early, and since Dave was at work, he could not track our flight like the others in the posse. He came a little after the greeting party, and it was the first time Makana saw her Daddy in uniform. Nonetheless she recognized him and clung to him!

Mom also became a part of our chapel community. She joined our women's study on Ephesians and made lots of friends. Everyone keeps asking about her. Our Ground Floor dorm ministry is also constantly on her heart. It was nice to share our lives in that way.

Another treat was that Dave's parents came out to visit this month as well. Makana loved them! It truly is amazing how she has been taking to our family. At first she studied her Grandpa's face, looking as though she thought he were familiar. She smiled a huge one. I think she could see the resemblence of her Daddy in her Grandpa. :) She felt completely at ease with her grandparents, for she easily fell asleep on GiGi's (Dave's mom's) shoulder. At times like these, it is difficult to be away from so many family members, but we cherish the time we actually can spend with them.

By this time, we have crossed over several time zones and slept in many different places. For the first time in her short life, Makana had her own room. I bet it must have seemed extremely weird at first for this little one.

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Milestones:

She started to play her version of "Peek-a-boo" by pulling down a blanket when I hid her face. She would laugh heartily.

Makana loved keeping rhythm with her hands. She would hit the floor or anything else around her. I would imitate her, and at first, it startled her. When she realized I was following her every move, she would exaggerate her movements to include kicking up her legs or rolling over.

Daddy taught Makana how to catch and throw a ball. She loved watching the ball fall into her arms. She had great fun throwing or rolling the ball.

Makana met her great-grandfather and loved him immediately as well. :) On another visit, she met her grandaunt and granduncle, and she took to them, too. :)

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Dave and I started teaching a marriage enrichment class a week and a half after Makana and I got in. In the description, Dave stated something like, "Using the Bible as our main text, . . . ." His supervisor came up to us, jokingly saying something like, "How can you use the Bible as the main text? Aren't you going to use something else?" The reason is because we didn't have a book the attendees had to purchase, while all the other Bible studies did. We had a great time with our class. It was a good refresher for us as well. :)

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Picture note: Blogger was not handling the volume of pictures, so I resorted to the slide show at the end. Hope you enjoy the pics! :)

God Came Near 9

"The magical dust of Christmas glittered on the cheeks of humanity ever so briefly, reminding us of what is worth having and what we were intended to be. We forgot our compulsion with winning, wooing, and warring. We hung up our stopwatches and weapons. We stepped off our racetracks and roller coasters and looked outward toward the star of Bethlehem." Max Lucado--GOD CAME NEAR, p 22.

"The star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was . . . . They bowed down and worshiped him." MATTHEW 2.9, 11.

Reflecting on 2006--August

Getting to know you . . .

Each day that passed was new, exciting, and precious. I treasured every moment, trying to understand Makana's needs and wants as a four month old baby. She drooled excessively and incessantly. She was fascinated by hula hand motions and even liked it when I danced with her. Because she was on a different formula prior to me getting to the RMI, her little tummy was taking quite a while to adjust to the new one I had brought. Sometimes she would scream in gas pains for what seemed like an eternity when watching your baby hurt, but she seemed to like to be swaddled and held tightly while being serenaded to worship music.

When I took her to the Central Adoption Agency, the gentleman in charge commented that she was able to focus extremely well for her age and seemed to like the color yellow along with any type of patterns. Since he is a child development expert, I was encouraged by his remarks.

Even though I grew up with children all around me and knowing what types of things to expect with newborns, not having people immediately around me to physically and emotionally support me was a challenge. I had always envisioned that my child would grow up within the context of a family. However, when I was in the RMI by myself, as relieved as I was to be a mother, I felt as though my parenting was severely lacking and incomplete. I am someone who treasures "words of affirmation" [read THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES], and despite the fact that in retrospect I can feel assured I was doing well, I was uncertain of myself at that time.

For that reason especially, I am extremely grateful for my cousin Marjorie and her husband Gary, for they took us in and had us take over their living room for 3 weeks. (A great by-product is that we were able to save a TON of money by not having our hotel bill!) As missionaries in the RMI, they exposed me to everyday life in the islands. They also introduced me to many of our family members. :) Since Gary was in the Coast Guard, he and Marjorie lived much of their life outside of Hawai'i. Therefore, it was a splendid opportunity to get to know each other again and encourage one another in the Lord.

Makana's first mission trip was to the Majuro prison. Gary and Marjorie take youth with them each Sunday to conduct a worship service in the jailhouse. Makana's presence brought joy to many of the inmates. They thanked us profusely for coming. Sometimes the greatest present you can offer someone is presence.

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Bonding: Our adoption agency warned us and prepared us for difficulty in attaching and bonding with our child. We had to come up with a strategy and put very specific ideas down on paper of how we were going to attempt to bond with our child. Hence, I was extremely concerned that Makana would not be happy with us for a while. After surveying veteran mothers who used various baby carriers, I decided to purchase a sling to help me be mobile in the RMI and to help with bonding with Makana. I guess it became our signature look in the RMI because no one else uses them there. In Africa and in Japan, mothers and others caring for babies would not think to live without their versions of the sling. Needless to say, I think the sling was perhaps the best practical purchase I could make; Marjorie attests to the fact that it probably helped Makana and me bond immediately. Despite all of my fears, Makana CLUNG to me as though she knew that God had brought her mother to her.

In fact, we bonded so well that she would go to NO ONE else. She screamed if other people held her, including her birth mother when she came to visit. I was so concerned that she wouldn't even want to go to her Daddy when she finally would meet him. I prayed and asked others to pray as well, that she would at least be open to looking at her earthly father without shedding a tear. I daily showed her pictures of Dave and me, and she would smile and coo at it. When Dave called, she would try to talk to him, smiling as she did. She got excited whenever he would call. God is sooooooo gracious! When Makana did meet Dave, it was as though she knew that was her Daddy. People around us were amazed by how she studied his face and placed her little head on his chest when he held her. She was in her Daddy's arms, and that was that. No crying, no tears. She was at home in her Daddy's arms. Thank you, God!

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The waiting game: Things just move slowly in the RMI. August seemed to last FOREVER! Basically, our paperwork took the longest in our agency's history to process, as we hold the dubious record of 6 weeks in the Marshall Islands. Since the last adoption to be processed there was about a year previous to ours, people were re-learning how to do things, and that slowed things up a bit. Additionally, we were missing my signature (I was to perform in front of an RMI American embassy representative) on one of the many pieces of paper when the paperwork got to Manilla. (Our paperwork went to Honolulu and then to Manilla.) Because the RMI embassy couldn't find the necessary paperwork when I got there (on a Friday afternoon), I had to bring it back on Monday morning (count the days in between that were lost). Makana and I took the "bus" into town that morning, which was basically a 15-passenger van, which was a cultural experience.

Wanna hear more about our van experience? Marjorie and Gary ensured we could have a space on the van the night before by going to the corner shop that runs one of the buses. They said to wait out on the street in front of the house because that was one of the official bus stops (yup--no sign or anything, but it is an official stop!). There were others waiting at that "stop" when we got out, and they assured me that I was lucky because it was the last bus of the day.

We got into the van and took our place on one of the seats. People stared (especially since I had the sling around Makana). Where do I pay? I handed the driver my money, and he was puzzled but took it anyway. I noticed later that no one else paid the driver. Where did they pay? I have yet to know the answer. The van meandered through the little streets and then stopped at a store. The driver got out for a smoke break, and others in the van did so as well. We waited. I looked at these gallon jugs sitting on shelves just outside my window. I wondered what was in them, for they were unmarked. The contents looked like apple juice or cider. Just then, the driver picked up one of the jugs and and a funnel in his other hand. He placed the funnel in the gas tank hole and started filling the van with the contents of the jug. I assume now that those were gallons of gas, for our van did not die from the 5 gallons of that stuff that was eventually placed into the van. Interesting. They do have gas stations in Majuro, but I guess no one wanted to install one in Laura (one hour from the city).

The van then continued through the streets of the tiny town, picking up and dropping off passengers who didn't pay the driver. :) After about a half an hour of riding, a little boy behind us got sick, and his grandmother was trying to hide things that came out of him. All the Marshallese people around them tried to shift away from them, but being that this was a van we were riding on, it was difficult. I pulled out my handy wipes, and offered them to her via the people in between us. Once again, people stared at me, but this time they seemed grateful for this American. In that way, it seems as though Marshallese are suspicious people. I was a little taken aback, for in Hawai'i, in the "aloha spirit," people smile, "talk story," help each other out, even when they are strangers. In the Marshall Islands, it is different. Perhaps because their history is one of takeover after takeover, they are less welcoming of outsiders. They seem to like outsiders for their money, to help their economic growth. I am not trying to make a blanket statement; those were my cursory observations of 6 weeks.

Once people knew you with some connection to themselves, they were more than welcoming. For example, in the hotel's dining room, on my first night alone with Makana, people just stared at me. The servers were noticeably talking about us, and they barely helped us. After frequenting that place for a while, people got to know us, and they were friendlier. However, when Marjorie and Gary met us there and then introduced us to all the servers, ahhhh--life was different. There was now a connection to people whom they knew, and we were accepted.

Marjorie and Gary introduced us to a myriad of people. For me the best introductions were to our family members. What I didn't realize until later was that even though Marjorie had been there for 4 years, she was also meeting many of these family members for the first time as well. We went together to meet Auntie Neirom and her family, who were wonderfully gracious to us! Auntie Neirom told me about how she had met my Papa (grandfather) and Daddy in Hawai'i in the 60's. She had tried to convince Papa to come back to the Marshalls, but he didn't. She also met Mommy at one of the Assemby of God conventions in Hawai'i (probably in the late 70's or in the 80's). I felt comfortable talking with her; she did feel like family to me. Her children and grandchildren were also wonderfully gracious to us as well, and we saw them again at a picnic a couple of weeks later.

Connecting with my Marshallese roots was the second highlight of the trip there. I hadn't dreamt it possible to do so, since Papa had died when I was a toddler. It felt right, just like when I went to Japan and met Auntie Toyoko's family outside of Tokyo, and later our other family in Fukuoka and in Kumamoto. It made me realize that keeping Makana's roots alive will probably be important to her someday as well.

The fruit in one of the pictures is the pandanus--"pup" in Marshallese, and "hala" in Hawaiian. It was the first time I had eaten the fruit, but it is abundant in the RMI. In Hawai'i, I know we use the lauhala (leaves) for weaving mats and things, and we used the fruit for lei (known to me as the "make-man" [pronounced /mah-kay/, meaning dead] lei, for they were used at funerals). The fruit is apparently nutritious, and it is delicious. It is the first table food the Marshallese give to babies. On the day before we left the RMI, we cooked up an entire bunch of them at Marjorie's place, and then pounded out the pulp. Actually, Gary did most of the extracting. It was quite a task!

There are so many stories of what transpired in the RMI while we waited. Perhaps I'll blog some of them later, as I recall some things that stick out. In retrospect, I think I tried to savor the time there despite the anxiousness I was trying to supress to get to the States and be reunited with Dave.

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We finally got "the call" from the American Embassy that our paperwork was in. On August 30th, Makana and I travelled to the USA together. I'm not sure what it is, but it seems as though the Marshallese flights have the most children on it per capita than any other flights I have ever taken. Children were in front, on the side, diagonally across from, and in back of us. At first I was thrilled that there was an empty seat between a lady and me, so I sat Makana there, relieved. However, when everyone settled in their seats, the lady near the window called another lady over to take up the empty seat. Bummer! Oh, well, we only paid $17 for Makana anyway, so I cannot complain.

Makana was great! I had trained her to suck on her pacifier from day 1 with her for the very task of flying in the plane. She fell asleep after we leveled off, so I placed her on my seat. She liked having space rather than being held in my arms. Makana stayed asleep until we started to descend. :)

We arrived in Honolulu at around 1:30 am. It took us about 2 hours to get through customs b/c we didn't have an extra passport picture of Makana for the paperwork they needed to complete there. It was actually hilarious because the customs officers had a Polaroid camera, but they had no idea of how to take a passport shot. After about 8 shots (and waiting in between for each of them to develop and then get disapproved by an unseen supervisor), the custom officers gave up and said they'd use the pictures already provided on other paperwork. Whew! The baggage claim people had already gone home and brought our luggage to the customs officers. :)

Lisa came to pick us up; it was great to be HOME in the USA! :) What a RELIEF! God is sooooo gracious; I don't know how to express my gratitude.

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Life in the USA is MUCH easier with so many more ammenities and things to help out parents. Of course, there are more laws, like car seats and medical requirements and such, but they are all for the benefit of the little lives with which we are entrusted. In the RMI, I was pretty freaked out that I didn't have a car seat for Makana. Riding for 1 hour each way every day from my cousin's house posed many risks, but there was no way around it. Thank you, Lord, for safety!

Of course, people drive much more speedily in the States, but the road conditions are somewhat better as well. Africa still wins for the worst roads, though.

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Makana loved meeting my family in Hawai'i; she took to them as though she knew they were family. It was amazing. Even at the RMI airport, when her birthmother came to say her good-byes, Makana cried uncontrollably. It is unexplainable. I just thank God she likes being a part of our family. :)

God Came Near 8

"The people would scoff at anyone who told them the messiah lay in the arms of a teenager on the outskirts of their village. They were all too busy to consider the possibility. Those who missed His Majesty's arrival that night missed it not because of evil acts or malice; no, they missed it because they simply weren't looking. Little has changed in the last two thousand years, has it?" Max Lucado, GOD CAME NEAR, p 11.

"He came unto his own, and his own received him not." JOHN 1.11.

Reflecting on 2006--July

July was a HUGE month in the life of our family.

Jeffo, Lisa, and Kayla had been planning to go to Indiana for a youth conference for a while, and we were going to try to meet them in Purdue while they were there. I was sooooooo bummed when I discovered we were moving prior to their trip. However, when I called Lisa to inform her of our move, she reminded me that the second part of their trip was to Arizona for a Vacation Bible School (VBS) mission trip. They would actually have more free time in Arizona than in Indiana b/c that would be the end of their trip. Funny how God works things out like that! :)

As time progressed, however, I wasn't certain if I'd be here in the States when they were traveling. A part of me was hoping that I would be, since none of our family members on my side of the family had ever visited any of our homes outside of Hawai'i (emphasis on VISITED; Johnny LIVED with us in Indiana!). When Lisa came to Japan, we met her in Tokyo (a fourteen hour car drive from Misawa). Yet, knowing why I wouldn't see them here in Arizona made me definitely not want to be here when they came (as I'd be in the Marshall Islands).

As it turned out, I picked them up from the Phoenix airport when they arrived and spent the day with them and their group. :) After they finished their VBS mission trip a week later, Dave and I picked them up to come to our home. :) While they were with us, we had a great time visiting places in the midst of rushing to do some last minute paperwork for our adoption.

We went to Mexico just to say that we went to another country together. Kayla, however, did not bring any identification, and we don't have the same last name. We were concerned that she would not be able to cross the border back into the USA, but we decided to attempt to go there anyway. After shopping and bargaining with the street vendors, we easily crossed back into the USA. Hmmm . . . . (Homeland security?)

We went to Mt. Lemmon to the ski area and hiked down. I felt badly because we weren't able to do as many things because of our pending adoption. We tried to make the most of our time, though. :)

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Adoption: Finally, I found out that I would have a court date of July 21st in the RMI, which meant that I would leave Arizona on July 18th, fly into Honolulu and stay there overnight, and then fly out on the 19th to the RMI. When I arrived in the RMI, it was the 20th of July, their time. (I left one day before Lisa, Jeffo, and Kayla left Arizona.)

Was it true? Would I be able to meet our baby girl after all? I guarded my feelings quite a bit, as I didn't want to be disappointed if anything went wrong. With two suitcases filled to the brim with mostly diapers, wipes, and formula for six weeks, I was ready for my adventure across the Pacific.

July 21st finally arrived (in Japanese, it is a huge "YATTO," an adverb that holds the meaning of "finally, after all that effort," or something like that).

I met Makana with her birth family. It was surreal. Children were everywhere at first. Where is my baby? Where is she? Then she came out of one of the houses on the lot with her birth mother. I was in the car. Should I get out and jump for joy? Restrain myself. She is with her birth mother. Okay. Our coordinator asked for the birth mother to come back with us to the hotel.

We were in the same car. I looked back at Makana and just fell in love with her. I let all my inhibitions of not getting attached to her picture fall down. When would I get to hold her? Soon. Soon. She is not yet officially a part of our family (according to the court).

[When I met Makana, I saw her hair that was shaven and wondered, "What happened? Is that my baby girl?" In fact, when Kason (Mary's son) saw her picture that I e-mailed from the RMI, he responded to his mother, "I didn't know he was a GIRL!" Mary corrected him kindly, saying that she is a girl. I asked our coordinator in the RMI and Makana's birth mother why her hair was shaven. They both looked at me as though I had asked a question that led to nowhere and didn't bother to answer. I later discovered that the Marshallese people believe that the baby's hair is "no good" and that better hair will grow in if you shave off the first layer at least. Most keep shaving their babies' heads until they start going to school. Some even shave the entire head (Johnny, did you realize you were being truly Marshallese?).]

What I wasn't anticipating was having to dress Makana for court that morning. Her birth mother asked if I had a dress for her. I did, but not one I would have deemed right for court. Nevertheless, I dressed her in her "American" outfit of denim, white, and red. :) Then her birth mother asked if I had socks for the outfit. Mind you, it is eighty-something degrees outside with probably eighty-something percent or more humidity! I was going sockless; the rest of the RMI seemed to be as well. However, her birth mother insisted I put socks on her. I only had her bright pink ones (Remember: I had hardly any room at all in my suitcases for clothes, no matter how tiny they were.). I only laugh when I think back to that scenario. Oh, well. I also had no idea of her size. Surely, I could try to guess given her birthday, but each child is so different. I erred on the big side, and she was swimming in most of her clothes when I first got there.

Court: The judge interviewed Dave by phone for his testimony. I was prepped by my lawyer the previous day and rehearsed my answers that I've had for years. Why do we want to adopt? What made us choose the RMI? Etc. What I was not prepared to encounter was watching Makana's birth mother having to testify that she would relinquish all her rights as a parent from that moment forward. When asked if she understood the ramifications of her sworn testimony and if she would then relinquish her rights, she hesitated. I couldn't look at her at all. It was difficult. She loved Makana, I could tell. She just wanted to give Makana a chance for more opportunities, for she was a single mother, whose husband had passed away. That was a long, silent moment. For a split second I thought, "I wouldn't blame her if she said that she would not relinquish the parental rights to this precious child. It is so incredibly difficult." After what seemed like an eternity, she nodded her head. The judge prodded her to verbally give her answer for the court record. She mumbled an "Aet," "Yes," in Marshallese. I sighed a huge relief. Makana was now able to be an official part of our family.

It took a while after court was over before I was given the opportunity to hold Makana, for her family wanted to say their "Good-byes." In the RMI, we have an agreement to have an open adoption, so they can visit at any time, and we will send pictures at least twice a year. It felt so wonderful to finally have her in my arms, by myself, in our hotel room. We needed to start our paperwork process to get back to the States, but I savored the moment of just being mommy to my daughter. Thank you, God!